tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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