on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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