Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
