WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
