As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am available for nakedness
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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