You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
