did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
