So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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