so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
