just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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