Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
