I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she told me i tasted like america
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
