Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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