Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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