Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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