One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
