I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
