Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
