I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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