My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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