Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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