You work out of a Hotel?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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