I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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