whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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