Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
