this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
