YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
