I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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