ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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