I'd wear matching sweaters with you
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
