I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
