eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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