So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
