I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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