grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
