I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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