We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize