ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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