I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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