A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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