did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What happened to fro yo and sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
