Grow some girl-balls and come out already
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
