After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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