so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
