don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
