I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
