he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
