now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
