im having a threesome with these popsicles
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
