so that wasnt chicken after all
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
