Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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