there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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