I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
