Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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