If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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