so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
