Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
that is very illegal...i love you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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