she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
