You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
