Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
