TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
