Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
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Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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