i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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