Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
