Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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