And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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