The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize