fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
