Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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